|Foodfight! - The Search For The Worst - IHE|
|Season unknown, Episode 3|
|Released||August 22, 2014|
|Druids - The Search For The Worst - IHE||Zaat - The Search For The Worst - IHE|
Foodfight! - The Search For The Worst - IHE is the third episode in I Hate Everything's The Search For The Worst" series.
What is the worst movie you've ever seen? No, I'm not talking about Transformers 2 or Grown Ups 2, I mean a movie so bad, so fundamentally broken that it leaves a pit in your stomach or makes you feel frustrated and angry beyond any reasonable measure. This is a question I've been asking myself for a while and I think it's about time to do something about it. So I've pulled out the list of the Bottom 100 lowest rated movies on IMDb and I'm going through them one by one to find the worst movie ever.
Welcome to The Search For The Worst.
Foodfight! is the worst thing in the history of anything ever. But at the same time I couldn't help to be fascenated by how ungrateful and artless it is. The story behind the scenes of this movie is actually far more interest than the film it self. Believe it or not, this film was released in 2012, but there's a reason behind it: Originally it was planned to be released in 2003, but the entire production was such a mess that it meant it kept being delayed. At one point the director claimed the harddrives without finished assets were stolen in what he called it an active "Industrial Espionage". The budget for this movie has been estimated to have exceeded that 45 million dollars. So understandbly, the film's investors were extremely upset that the film just sort of flounder around and purgatory until it was shat out sometime in 2012.
So what about the actual movie, well unsurprisingly it's one of the most insufarable films I've ever had the misery of watching. The movie opens as a supermarket is closing down for the night and the lights are shut off, then for some reason, it just cuts to everything lighting back up and it turns out much like Toy Story, the products in the store come to life when there are no humans around. We're then introduced to our protagonist Dex Dogtective. Now, I do have to atleast credit this movie with one thing: it's the scariest horror movie I've ever seen in my entire life! The animation is so grotesque that I'm sure any child who end up watching this will have horrific nightmares probably for they're sad little life.
But, perhaps was more insulting than the freakish animation, is the extreme amount of blatant product placement. Being a UK citizen, I didn't really recognize many of the product icons, but in saying that, even then it was completely transparent. So Dex Dogtective is a detective who goes around solving crimes because movie. He wants to marry some mutant cat lady-human hybrid because apparently this movie has a thing for interspecies romance? We have the dog cat-human hybrid couple and later in the movie, this weird bat-thing tries to fuck the shit out this squirly pig creature.
Speaking of the squirl pig creature, he's the dog's best friend that is gonna be the best man in his wedding. Everyone in this movie has fucking ADD. They ride around all times, flaring their arms or spinning for absolutely no reason.
I have a theory that this is because the animators could only be fucked to create one static body-motion and just reused it whenever they could to save time or whatever. So it's back to the shop, were this OH MY GOD! Jesus! Yes, meet the main villain of this film, kinda? A crazy businessman who starts replacing products on what he calls "Brand X" or something. I'm having trouble trying to recall what happened in this film, it was kinda like watching a 90-minute fever dream or a bath salt hallucination. We cut to six months later, where cat-lady has gone missing, and dog-freak has given up being a detective and now owns a club. Then, this lady comes in and says some boring shit, and then I guess dog-freak goes back to being a detective to find out what's going on white this Product X bullshit. We then find out these characters are the embodyment of their products, meaning they're the soul of it or something, which means when they die, the product dies as well, I don't know, it makes no sense, no really, none of it makes any sense.
This dog asshole can't help it quote a famous movie or phrase at the end of every single scene he's in. I literally just Googled "Best movie quotes" and found a list of them, and most of the ones on that list were in this movie, but with a word or two being replaced with a random food item.